Peu importe.

12th March 2010 -

“Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore, I left my head and my heart on the dance floor” I like this song quote, don’t ask me why, but I’d actually really love to do this right now, which is why I can’t wait until Jackie’s party, and I don’t care if I get drunk and make a fool of myself, because I’m going to make sure I enjoy myself whilst doing it, and so as long as I have fun, nobody else matters right?

Been feeling really, weird lately, not sure why, I just find myself thinking of random things or old memories and then it ends up putting me in a bad mood, not good. Plus I’ve been feeling really annoyed with people lately, very annoyed with my family in fact, they seem to be annoying me 24/7. I know my family are great, but if I’m completely honest, I sometimes feel like I don’t even have a proper family, and I know that must sound absolutely terrible, but let me explain. My dad works from 8 until around half 5ish, which is quite normal for any parent, but then he’s on the computer until like, 2 in the morning? And so if I go out after school, and say I get in around 10, that means I hardly see him because I end up going to bed at around 11. Then there’s my mum, who to be fair, I think I see too much of, don’t get me wrong, It’s lovely to be able to say I see my mum all the time, but I like to have my alone time, and if I’ve had a bad day and want to just chill out, it doesn’t really help to have my mum fussing around me asking what’s wrong or asking why I’m “mardy“, plus when I actually want to spend time with her, she doesn’t seem like she even cares about spending time with me, it’s really annoying to be honest. Also, both of my parents seem like they don’t care about anything, I often hear people saying things like “my mum and dad won’t let me go out tonight because they think I should be revising” or “my mum keeps nagging me to get my homework/coursework done” I just feel really annoyed, because my parents don’t really care, and although on one side, this is great because I can just do things at my own pace and I don’t have people annoying me, it would be nice for them to show they care once in a while. I did used to have a good relationship with both my parents, I would have fun with my dad and then I’d go shopping with my mum and we’d watch TV together, We even used to sit together to eat dinner, but now it’s all different, we have dinner at different times and hardly see each other, but I cant say anything to them about it because my mum would just go “oh stop moaning” and my dad probably wouldn’t say anything at all. Eugh.