Bonne Journée.

30th November 2009 -

Well, today has been eventful. I woke up an hour late, fell down the stairs when trying to find my school shirt, didn’t have breakfast, ended up throwing my mascara at the mirror because it’s crap, then I finally got outside and whats the first thing I do? Yes, stand on a snail, and it crunched.. Nice. Got to Laurens, and she was nice enough to let me use her straightners to sort out my flicky hair. Then we got to school and I remembered we had assembly, such fun. Then English and we had to read that crappy book again. ICT was boring because miss moved Craig away from me so I don’t have anybody to annoy. Maths was really funny, we had a teacher that looked exactly like Ghandi, seriously, I’m not even joking, I couldn’t even understand a word he said, so when he was explaining to me about the work, I was looking at Lauren and trying to laugh out loud. History was quite a good lesson, apart from the gay boy who was sitting in front of me, eugh! (alright I suppose he’s not THAT bad). Then business, which was also alright, but actually seemed to go really quickly today. And after all that, I still managed to have a really good day. Plus I went out for a bit after school which was also very good, haven’t been out properly in about, two weeks? And so even though I was freezing, that annoying gay boy from earlier was keeping me quite lovely and warm, so thankyou very much annoying (and rather good looking) gay boy. Once again this is a very short blog, and once again I do apologise, I know how much you love to hear me rambling on and so tomorrow - or sometime this week - I will make sure to write an extremely long blog - promise!

Détendu.

29th November 2009 -

Haven’t really done much today but it hasn’t bothered me much to be honest, got up this morning after having a rather strange dream. Got dressed and I was ready by one - I know, it’s a miracle. Then I had Sunday dinner and went to the shop to get credit, yes that’s right I have officialy got more credit - with UNLIMITED texts, yay! - although I think my top up card is broken because this is the second time I’ve had to buy a code because my card wouldn’t work. Then I was going to go out today, but the weathers been quite crap, and so I decided to sit on my chair in my room and stare out of the window for a few hours, which was actually quite relaxing, then I put the radio on and read my book for a few more hours and now I’m sat in the living room watching Gok Wan on TV - he is the most amazing gay person alive (I really want a gay best friend). Sorry this is so short today, I actually do have a lot on my mind today, but none of it is really suitable for a blog. But do not fear, I shall be my normal chatty self either in a few hours or sometime tomorrow.

Décembre

28th November 2009 -

Oh my god. Town is so terrible at christmas time, you can’t move, plus when your in the shops, you can’t have a proper look because your getting pushed and prodded, so you miss out on very exciting bargains! It’s very distressing. Got locked out of the house today because I forgot my keys and had left my mum and dad in town, then I remembered my sisters at work early today, and so I decided to have a walk to my grandmas to ask for the spare copy of the house key, only to discover that she wasn’t in, neither was my brother, and so I had to stand on my door step (the step was wet so I couldn‘t sit down) for half an hour, watching the birds flying across the houses and watching my sisters cat (who I do not like for very good reasons) purring/rolling over - in other words showing off - at me. I think I went a bit crazy with my spending, I went to get a top I’d seen in New Look, but couldn’t find it - bloody christmas shoppers - so I decided to get three other tops instead (£29) and buy my top over the internet with my mums jacket. Been quite a good day today even though I haven’t really done much except go to town, plus the time has just flown by, but seen as though it’s Sunday tomorrow and not today - which I keep getting confused with - I suppose it doesn’t matter as I can have a very exciting day tomorrow.. Hopefully. I have a feeling that things are going to start getting better, the past couple of weeks have been rather crap, shit to be perfectly honest, but they seem to be looking up. Yay! I plan to go out a lot next week. Got enrichment day on Tuesday, how fun, not. I’ve got maths all day. Think I’m having a DVD night with my mum on Wednesday, Saturday I’m going to get my phone hopefully, and so I’ve got Monday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday to do whatever I want. Woop woop! I’ve decided, seen as though I had to stand in the freezing cold for half an hour, I’m going to force my dad to buy me some credit so that next time I can ring somebody to ask how to get it, I think this is a wonderful idea. Putting the christmas tree up on Tuesday apparently, time is going so fast, usually I’m nagging my mum for ages to put the tree up, then the 1st of December comes around and It’s time to put it up, yet this year, I haven’t even thought about it, I’m worried that I’m turning into scrooge. That’s really not so good.

Effrayant.

27th November 2009 -

Well today has been very good indeed, went to see Paranormal Activity. Woah that film is actually quite scary, especially the ending. It’s Carley’s birthday today, so happy birthday lovie! Found out I’m not getting my phone tomorrow after all, but might be getting it next weekend instead, although that means I’ve got to get it myself and I’ve never bought a phone myself before, eek. Can’t wait to go shopping tomorrow, going to spend, spend and spend! Plus I’ve still got two people to buy christmas presents for, and they’re both so bloody awkward! Although saying that, I never know what to say when people ask what I want for christmas, usually it’s gift cards, but it gets annoying when on christmas day, you’ve got about 15 gift cards and one actual present. It’s quite disappointing.

Cinéma.

26th November 2009 -

I know I’ve already done a blog today, but I went to see New Moon, and didn’t want to miss the opportunity to say how good it was. JACOB GOT NAKED! Well to be fair, he took his top off. But it sent the girls wild in the cinema, so I’m guessing topless is just as good? Oh and so did Edward, but nobody really seemed that bothered. Things I really hate when watching a film at the cinema - People talking about everything that’s happening. My bum going numb. Not being able to snuggle up with a pillow and duvet. Previews. Seeing lots of other films on the previews that you want to see but know you probably wont end up seeing. And not being able to look at your phone without feeling like your going to get arrested or something. But other than that, I love going to the cinema.

I have a feeling, that the next few days are going to be quite good? Starting today, which was really good. Then tomorrow, which I am going to force to be good. Then Saturday which WILL be good! And then Sunday, which probably wont be too good. But at least I had three good days right?

I have cold feet. I’m not saying I’m nervous about something. I literally have cold feet. That’s not too good really. Ok, I’m off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz. - Fine. Im really off to see the celebrities, the wonderful celebrities of Australia?..

Enseignants.

26th November 2009 -

Okay, on my last blog, I said that I had found some topics to do my blogs about, and so today I am going to pick one to talk about. Seen as though I had my one to one earlier (what a waste of time that was.) I decided to talk about school and teachers. Well, you find that when your younger, you just really can’t be bothered with school, whats the point? When the time comes for your GCSE’s you can just revise then. But that’s not how it works, believe me, I’ve found that out the hard way. When I was in my first couple of years at Balby Carr, I didn’t even try to act like I cared. I got into the wrong crowd and decided I didn’t need any crappy education. Up until the day I realised my “friends” were all trash. Then I realised that those few years that I’d wasted in school, were actually really important, and that I had a lot of catching up to do. And although I tried my best, I knew it would have an impact on my grades. Even now, I find it hard to learn things that most people find basic, and my concentration is really quite despicable to be honest, and it makes me feel like a complete arse sometimes. People may have all types of reasons for not wanting to actually get on with their work in school, whether they find it pointless, are like me and got into a bad crowd that messed them up, or just can’t be bothered. Either way, if your one of those people, you need to listen to me when I say this. It’s really not pointless, all those lessons of boring work may seem like a waste of time, but it’s all that work which is going to get you somewhere in life, so don’t waste your time messing around in lessons. I’m not saying you should sit there like a total nerd, just make sure that when your having fun, your doing your work at the same time. Although I must say, I don’t think it’s the students that are always to blame, the teachers can sometimes be the ones to make you not want to get on with your work. Take my science teacher for example, she always speaks to us like crap, and it just makes you think “why should I do my work for someone who speaks to me like shit?” she’s always having a go at us, even if there’s just someone who’s saying something to a friend, she’ll stop and shout at the whole class, which makes everyone start messing about, it’s really quite annoying to have your teacher shout at you. Lesson after lesson. When you’ve done fuck all wrong. Plus, she always tells the wrong person off, she told Carley off the other day because Craig and Jake were tickling her and making her laugh!? I really do not understand her sometimes..

Idées.

25th November 2009 -

Well, I’m not going to lie, today hasn’t been the best of days, but it has actually been better than most days, which I’m quite happy about, even the rain didn’t spoil my good mood. (Btw Ryan, I think it’s still raining!) Plus my ICT teacher was actually nice to me today - I know right!? Going to see New Moon tomorrow for Carley’s birthday, really quite excited actually. I used to be majorly obsessed with Twilight - I’m not anymore - but I still can’t wait! Also really excited about the `long weekend`. Turns out I get Thursday and Friday off because of one to one day on Thursday, and teacher training on Friday. I really do not understand teacher training days, I mean come on, they’re teachers, surely they already know everything they need to by now? Although I’m not really complaining. It means I get to stay in bed longer. I’m quite worried at the fact that there’s hardly anybody on MSN again. And it’s 19:26! Surely this is unnatural?

I’ve come to notice that my blogs are becoming shorter and less interesting. Maybe I just need more interesting things to talk about? Well, I just put it in on Google, and found another blogger who has very kindly posted 100 blog topics to help people like myself, bless him! So I copied and pasted these ideas into Microsoft Word (as he suggested) and picked out some of my favourites. And unfortunately, out of 100, I only picked 17, but I guess that’s still good, at least I can have 17 interesting blogs right? I have to admit, some of them are actually my own ideas, that I got from his ideas.. If that makes sense. Well anyway, I actually can’t be bothered to write a blog from one of these ideas tonight, but I may just do it tomorrow if I find the time.

Tu me manques.

24th November 2009 -

I’m not really sure what to write about today, nothing spectacular has happened to be honest - except a bitch saying something to me this morning which rather spoilt my good mood, but ahh well - So I think I’ll share one of my worries with you. I’m worried that christmas and new year will be really rubbish. And I hope it isn’t, but if so, I may just decide to hibernate in my room all next year.

I have been thinking about something today. After sixth form, if I have enough money, I have decided to move to America - well either America or London - I’ve always wanted to, but never thought I’d have the balls to actually do it, but I decided, what the hell? If I have the money, I might as well, there’s nothing stopping me, and I’m probably more likely to find journalism work there anyway. I’d obviously miss everyone back home, but I think it’s just something I really need to do. Fresh start and all.

I’ve also decided I need to get out of the house more, I never go out anymore, and even though we never did anything exciting, it was still nice to be out somewhere having a laugh. Where as now, I get home from school. I have my tea. I sit in my room on the laptop. I go in the bath. I watch Im A Celebrity. And then I go to bed. Boring or what!? Plus i'm sure this pattern is sending me crazy..

Btw I told Ryan I’d try and make this interesting, but seen as though it’s not, I’ll make it up to him by mentioning him instead, because I’m just really nice like that you see..

Ryan. I really do think you should use Twitter more.

Débile.

23rd November 2009 -

Okay, today has been quite alright, this morning was pretty rubbish as my ICT teacher really annoyed me by giving me way too much homework to do in a very short space of time, she then moaned at me for not getting my other homework done, which I had to do in class anyway - which is actually her own fault for setting me stupid homework - and then she moaned at me for not coming back after school more often. I mean come on, I know I’m quite good with computers, but I do actually have a life you know! Eugh. But then my day picked up. My 3rd and 4th lessons were spent in the CLC (a building at the back of our school with computers etc.) where I had a really good time listening to a really funny guy called Dean. He told us all about how he did rubbish at school, but went back to re-sit his exams, got really good grades and went into the army. Plus he had a London accent, and at the beginning he said “just to be sure, does anybody think I’m Australian?” which really made me giggle - I haven’t laughed like that in a while. But then dinner time made me a bit, bleh. So in technology, I really could not be bothered with anything, so I just sat there trying to think things over - with my Ipod in, listening to my crappy old songs, seen as I can’t add more due to my silly dad and his silly new (and expensive) computer - trying not to fall asleep. For the whole lesson. And then when I got home, I was told that I had exactly 5 minutes to get dressed and brush my teeth before going with my grandma, to the dentists. Now most of you will be thinking “yeah, so what?” but seriously, when you’ve just got in from school, and your feet are tired/cold/wet you really don’t want to have to be running around you room screaming “WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING TOOTH BRUSH!?” then realising it’s probably in the bathroom. Where it always is.

Amis.

22nd November 2009 -

Today has also been boring. My weekends used to be very fun, but lately they have basically included, me, my laptop and my bed - all day. Which is why next weekend, I’m planning to go to town with my mum on the Saturday and on the Sunday, I’m not quite sure what I’m doing yet, but hopefully it will be majorly exciting. I cannot spend another Sunday cooped up in my room, by myself, doing absolutely nothing - except maybe cleaning.

I have decided, that for christmas, because I’ve asked for a phone, which is quite cheap, and I get £100 every christmas, I’m going to ask for the Friends box set to go with my phone, which I have wanted forever as I am a very humongous Friends fan.

This isn’t really a long blog entry today, I’m just not really feeling in the mood to type lots today, sorry. By the way, why not visit my other blog site.. www.chloee6.tumblr.com you’ll get to see the more random side of me.

Ennuyeux.

21st November 2009 -

Today has been quite boring, was going to go to town and get myself some pretty things, but the weathers crap, and so I’m going tomorrow. So today, I decided to stay in bed and watch Twilight, which has made me even more excited to go see New Moon next Thursday. I made £45 today and I didn’t even do anything, how amazing is that!? Although I don’t get the other £40 for two weeks and most of it has to be spent on christmas presents - I’ve been selling all my old toys. I’m very happy to finally be getting rid of everything. Barbie dolls with no heads and toy cars without wheels, funnily enough, aren’t my most prized possessions, still got lots of stuff to get rid of though, such fun! Going to the dentist on Monday, hope she doesn’t start having a go at me for not wearing my retainer. I just keep forgetting to put it on before bed, and I hate wearing it during the day anyway, and my teeth don’t seem to be moving, so whats the point? I’m in a really random/talkative mood today, and so I’m going to try making this entry very random and long, so if I suddenly add a random, long word like Kaleidoscope (a cylindrical optical toy with mirrors and shifting colours inside that create coloured patterns)-(wow that dictionary is finally becoming useful) then please excuse me.

Ok, I’ve decided, because it’s only 13:47, I’m going to try and spread this entry out for a few hours, and keep updating you on what I am doing. Right now, I’m watching The Holiday, I was going to watch Twilight again, but I don’t want to start getting obsessed again.. There’s nobody on MSN today, I know it’s a Saturday afternoon, but the weathers crap, I was expecting to have lots of people to talk to. There’s a baby next door who wont be quiet, I’m considering going round there and telling her to shut up, but I don’t think she’d understand me, so instead I’m going to get food. I have sandwiches! But my “updating this throughout the day” plan isn’t going to work as my sister is suddenly in dying need of the laptop, so instead, I will update later on when I get the laptop back and I will inform you of everything I have done, until then.. Au revoir.

I am officialy back, although its now 16:50, and when I upload this onto my blog, you will get to read this all at once, so the fact that I am back on the laptop, wont make any difference to you really. I’m happy because I just found out that I’m going shopping with my mum next Saturday and she’s buying my christmas present for me (Sony Ericsson W302 Indigo) and so I know for sure than im getting it. Plus, even though I have to use my £45 on christmas presents, I only have one or two left to buy, so it shouldn’t come to that much, and so I get to save or spend it. Yay! Disinclination (a reluctance to do something) sorry.. Just felt like a random word moment. I'm going to go listen to Shakira-Did it again, so I hope this entry is much longer than my others..

Sublime.

20th November 2009 -

Okay, I know my blogs seem to be very depressing lately, and so I have found a way to work around this, I am going to write everything that’s going on in my life that may sound depressing, and all my blogs afterwards will try to stick to the good things. Well there’s really only one main bad thing that’s going on, and so I’m going to dedicate this entry to Ryan Clark.. (btw, I hope this blog won’t sound cheesy, sorry if it does, but it has to be said.) Never in my life did I think I would find someone so amazing. Yes, I did think I would find somebody who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I always expected it would be much later on in my life, when I’m around 25 and have had (too) much experience with guys. But seriously, this boy is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, I have no idea how I even survived without him. He’s one of those people, who when you find out something funny, you just have to tell him, because the smile that appears on his face is so dazzling, that it brightens up your day, and the things that he says may not be that interesting, yet you listen like it’s the most important thing in the world. I know what your thinking.. “yeah yeah, people say this type of thing all the time, and then next week they’re talking about someone else who’s `amazing` and `fantastic`” but I do not lie - he really is amazing and fantastic. I would actually really just like to thank him for making the past few weeks the most amazing weeks of my life, never have I had so much fun, and had so much to look forward to in such a short space of time, and even though its all over, those memories will never leave me, even when I’m old and wrinkly, I’ll always remember that gorgeous boy who came into my life and made it sparkle. And I know I have no right to say this to him anymore - but I don’t think he’ll read it anyway. I truly do love you, I miss you, and I hate the thought of never getting to kiss you, hug you, or just be with you ever again. My life basically revolves around you now, and no matter how pathetic I seem by saying this, I’m still saying it, which must count for something? And I wish I could show you this, just to prove to you how much I love you, but I know that you blame yourself for how things turned out, so the last thing I want is to make you feel worse. I know you just want me to be happy, but the truth is, I’m happiest with you, and no matter how many times you tell me I’m going to meet someone great and forget all about you, I think that you and I both know that’s not true. But like I said, even if it does come true (which is most certainly will not!) I wouldn’t do anything about it, because no matter how `great` they may be, they’re nothing compared to you.

I love you. I miss you. I hope one day soon, when the time is right, we can be together again. And I really can’t wait.

Vieux gens.

19th November 2009 -

It has not been a good day, in fact your lucky to even be getting a blog out of me. Today I have realised, that probably the best thing that has ever happened to me, has gone, and there’s a chance he’s not coming back - this reality has hit me harder than if I’d have been hit by a bus. So to try and distract myself from this horrible realisation, I’m going to have a rant about old people. Ok I know what your thinking, “what the heck is she on about now” but just let me explain.. Today, young people are seen to be trouble makers, which is totally not the case. Yes, your average teenager is maybe a bit on the wild side, doesn’t mean that’s always a bad thing though, you just have to use this “wild” side, in a more productive way, other than say.. throwing rather large objects at old age pensioners. (no matter how fun\funny this may sound) Instead, other teenagers prefer to spend time with their friends or even be the ones to help the old age pensioners up when they’re hit by the rather large objects, and as unlikely as this may seem, it’s actually true. Just because were a little hormonal and mixed up, doesn’t mean were out to kill somebody - were actually just bored. And I have come to notice, that it is mostly old people who seem to try and stay away from us, like were a disease or something. I can understand why they may get a little frustrated with teenagers, I mean you‘d be frustrated too if you had to put your teeth in a glass every night before bed time, but come on, if they’ve been alive since the war, a few teenagers aren’t exactly going to bother them are they!? This is something that I decided to share with my grandma. I confusingly asked her about it, and being the good grandma that she is, she informed me that although a lot of old people may act that way, she’s not one of them. She said, and I quote “I was once a teenager myself, and I know how hard it is, your body is going through a lot of changes, and it doesn’t help to have hundreds of old people running (or shuffling) towards you with pitch forks and shot guns.” This made me chuckle, and it’s actually quite comforting to know, that if a war did start between teenagers and old people, that I can be 100% sure, my grandma would be on the teenagers side, with her slippers, loaded and ready to kick some OAP arse.

Besoin. Sommeil.

18th November 2009 -

Ok, I said in my last blog that I was going to do a new paragraph about myself, so here goes.. My names Chloe Cherise Wood, I’m 15 and in year 11 at Balby Barr Community Sports and Science College, after this year I plan to stop on at school to do something in journalism and then afterwards, maybe go to New York? New start and all. I like reading, photography, journalism and music. I like a lot of types of music, mostly indie and rock, love Nickleback! My favourite food is still pasta, and flapjacks! I love spending time with my friends, I used to just stay in a lot and go on the laptop, boring! But I actually have a social life now. I also still hate water, plus I hate spiders, oh and I hate being in horrible situations. I find it hard to trust people, a lot of people have let me down, and I’d say that if you lose my trust, there’s a good chance your not getting it back. I started growing my hair last year, and decided it didn’t suit me, so I cut it really short, but now I’ve decided to try growing it again, ready for prom, so that I can have it really curly. Excited for prom, I wasn’t going to go, but I decided, I’ll only get one chance to go, and I’ll regret it if I don’t. I like meeting new people, I can sometimes be quite shy at first, but I’ll open up more once I get used to you. I love surprises, and although I’ll annoy people to tell me the surprise, deep down, I don’t want to know. Somehow, I’ve managed to become even more dirty minded, I have no idea how that happened, I’m just too cool. I never used to be much of a dare devil, but I’ve actually become more open minded to trying new things. I’m not really sure what else to put about myself. I’d try and extend it, but I’m tired, and have had a long day, so I’m going to sleep now. Any questions? Please ask.

Oh mon dieu.

17th November 2009 -

Ok, I know I’ve already done a blog today, but I just remembered that I found something on my laptop that really made me chuckle, and I thought after my last blog, I should share this with you all, ok here goes. Last year, on my Bebo, I did a very long paragraph about myself, but then when I decided to take it off, I thought I should probably keep it, just incase I decided to put it back on, I then forgot about it, and a year later, here it is, packed away in a long ago forgotten folder, and I thought that you, my loyal readers, should get a chance to know the old me. By the way, I apologise for the use of strong language, apparently I had a swearing problem. “Well I'm Chloe Cherise Wood, I'm 14 and from Doncaster, I was born on the 25th august 1994. Im in year 10 at Balby Carr and I can’t wait to finish and go on to college where I will take a photography course. I love my family but they can be such arses sometimes, I have two nephues and a nephew on the way. Im addicted to msn, Bebo etc, im such a computer nerd. I love music, Kings Of Leon, Lady Gaga, Kevin Rudolf that sort of thing. My favourite food is pasta, I also love flapjacks. I don’t try and be someone im not because then I wouldn’t be living my life, I try to live my life to the fullest although I don’t really like trying new things (it scares me) I’m not a dare devil and I wont do anything im not comfortable with, I hate water so you’d be lucky to even get me in a pool. I change my mind about things a lot and im bad at making decisions, I usually get people to make them for be which is so much easier, but I have made a lot of mistakes, some I've learnt from and some I really wish I hadn’t of done, but that’s life, you make mistakes. I'm not very tall, and I hate it, people think they can take the piss all the time. I also hate it when people talk behind my back, what’s the point? They’re just scared to say it to my face which is honestly pathetic. Hate it when lads think they can just get a shag out of a lass and that they don’t care, not all girls are like that. My fave shops are New Look, Primark and Peacocks, love my bargains. I like my make up, but I hate it when people put lots on, it just looks.. sluttish. I hate the cold, although I like playing in the snow, as I'm sure most people do. Im growing my hair, so hopefully it will look decent for my prom. I’m not very good with advice, ill try and help people, but it doesn’t work, I give people advice which I would never actually do myself. I love meeting new people, I’m usually very shy but once I get to know you I will get louder. I find it very hard to trust people, loose my trust and im certain you’ll never get it back. I like surprises, but I always ruin them. I love Skegness even though its crap. Im very dirty minded, I'm always thinking someone said something sexual when they didn’t. I hate liers, whats the point in lying or pretending when you can just be loved for who you are and if people don’t love you for who you are then fuck them, they’re just jealous. I get confused easily. I have a lot of close friends, they mean so much to me and they're always there for me when i need some advice or I’m upset about something, they always know how to cheer me up and I know they will never judge me, I love you's.” Seriously, how funny is that? I can’t believe how much I’ve changed, I sound like such a chav on that. eugh! By the way, I have changed some of my spelling “mistakes” on this, I didn’t think words like “tho” belonged on my pretty new blog site. I think that because I’ve shown you this, tomorrow, I will have to write a new one, just so that you get an idea about the old me, but that you also get to know the new me. If there are any questions about this blog, which I actually hope there is, I’d be really interested to answer them, so please don’t be afraid to ask.

Heureux.

17th November 2009 -

I have recently (in the past 5 minutes) decided that I’m going to try my very best to forget about everything and be happy. Life is too short to be worrying about the bad things, and although I am finding it really hard to have fun, I just need to distract myself, and think about the good things. There’s just one thing I need to say before I do.. I’d just really love to thank my friends and family for putting up with me, love them all lots. Right, now for the happy stuff. I have finally found something to do with my life, I’m thinking of becoming a journalist, and I know this means I’m going to have to work my arse off in English now, but I am actually really prepared to do that. I have also found a few new songs, which always cheers me up, New Moon comes out this week, and I’m going to see it for Carley’s birthday next week. Plus! my mum very kindly got me a chocolate fudge brownie Frijj. Yay! That’s about it for the good parts of my day, sorry this is so short, but I will make good things happen tomorrow, and inform you of them right away!

Merde.

16th November 2009 -

Today. Has not been the best. If it wasn’t for my friends (Carley in particular) trying to cheer me up, I think this day would have been a total bust. Firstly, I woke up and was freezing my socks off. Then I realised there was a storm of rain happening outside. Meaning that when I got to my friend Laurens house, my hair wasn’t exactly looking it’s best. Then I get to school, and remember we’ve got assembly (15 minutes of a young “funny” guy trying to cheer us all up. Not really my idea of fun.) After this, I had to sit and read chapter 2 of “Of Mice And Men” for an hour in English (I went on the internet on my phone which was hidden behind my book.) I then went to ICT, which is supposedly one of my favourite subjects. Not today. The highlight of that lesson was when I went hyper from annoying my friend Craig. He acts like he hates me. but really he loves it. Maths was then my next crappy subject of the day, and with my normal maths teacher (who I like) away on maternity leave, we had a very boring bald guy. I’m not sure I like him. Hes quite weird. Then I had history, which just dragged to be honest. The class watched a film. I was sleeping. My last lesson of the day was business, and although I got a lolly pop (orange. My favourite!) It still wasn’t enough to cheer me up. I think the best part of the day was probably going to Carley’s house, and although we got ourselves into a bit of a sticky situation halfway through the night, I still had a good time. And I’d actually just like to thank her for putting up with my bad moods lately, I think most people would have given up on me by now, and would tell me to shut up, but Carley has been a real trooper, she’s stuck by my side and has really tried her best to cheer me up, and although I still may not be in the best of moods, she has really made me laugh tonight, that girl is so crazy! But it’s why I love her <3

Famille.

15th November 2009 -

Today I have been watching P.S. I Love You. I have never been the sort of person to cry at films, yet for some reason or other, this film, plus Titanic, are always sure to bring a tear to my eye. I think this could be because of the amount of loneliness that is captured in these films, especially in P.S. I Love You. Holly, (Hilary Swank) is left by her childhood sweetheart, Gerry, (Gerard Butler) when he horribly dies, the result of a tumour, and she tries to deny the fact that he has gone forever. Gerry tries to gently guide her to move on, by sending her a series of letters each month, everyone of them ending in "PS. I Love You". But Holly is then torn apart, when the letters finally stop, and even though she knew they couldn’t possible continue forever, she still feels that a part of her is gone. This is when her mother steps in, after Holly’s father chose to leave her mother when Holly was just an early age, she realises, that on some level, her mother can relate to what she is going through, and goes to her for that extra bit of support that she needs. This film has made me realise just how important my family are to me, because you really don’t know when life is just going to end, and although I may not have the best relationship with my family, I think it’s about time that I made more of an effort to built the relationship, between my mother in particular. Out of all the members of my family, I am definitely closest to my grandmother, she is the most warm and caring grandma you can find, and I know I can tell her anything. Heck, I could tell her I was pregnant, and she would probably help me in every way possible, infact she’s more like my second mother than my grandma, which is why I think I need to try and build the relationship with my mother, I have always had a good relationship with her, but as im getting older, I wish it was a stronger relationship, one where she was more like my best friend rather than my mum, and although sometimes, she gets on my nerves, and I wish she would just leave me alone, I know, deep down, my life would not be the same without her, without all of my family. And although I wish I saw my extended family more often and that wish I were closer to some of my family members, I think I really am lucky to have them, and I wouldn’t change them for the world.

Amour.

14th November 2009 -

Over the past few weeks, I have come to realise, that some people really do need someone in their life to be there for them, and to have that unconditional love, I am one of those people. I can now safely say that I have someone in my life who I want to be with forever, I couldn’t stand being with anybody else, and it breaks my heart to think of him as “just a friend”. But I have also come to realise, that to be in a relationship, you have to think of the other person, it’s like having a baby, it’s no longer just you, you have someone else to think about, someone else's thought and feelings to take into consideration, so the things you do in your life, now also affect somebody else, and you have to be very careful when making decisions, you can't be selfish, but you can't be too giving, the balance has to be right, else it could ruin everything. At this moment in time, my life is complicated, I am going through a patch, where I have everything I could ever want, and it has been fantastic, I have already had some of the most amazing experiences of my life, but over the past few days, it’s already started to get messed up, and I already feel like my amazing guy is slipping away from me. I am the sort of person, who when in a sticky situation, I can usually be quite good at finding a way to sort things out, but this is all happening faster than I am having time to process it and find a way around it, and I have been taken out of my comfort zone. I have only known this amazing guy for around two months, and I already love him more than I can even imagine, I love him so much that it hurts to even think about loosing him, and if I could, I would tell him this as much as possible, and in every way imaginable. He is my life now, I thank him so much for everything hes done for me, and I know that I am so lucky to have finally found him, I just hope that I can hold onto him long enough for him to realise this.