Sublime.

20th November 2009 -

Okay, I know my blogs seem to be very depressing lately, and so I have found a way to work around this, I am going to write everything that’s going on in my life that may sound depressing, and all my blogs afterwards will try to stick to the good things. Well there’s really only one main bad thing that’s going on, and so I’m going to dedicate this entry to Ryan Clark.. (btw, I hope this blog won’t sound cheesy, sorry if it does, but it has to be said.) Never in my life did I think I would find someone so amazing. Yes, I did think I would find somebody who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I always expected it would be much later on in my life, when I’m around 25 and have had (too) much experience with guys. But seriously, this boy is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, I have no idea how I even survived without him. He’s one of those people, who when you find out something funny, you just have to tell him, because the smile that appears on his face is so dazzling, that it brightens up your day, and the things that he says may not be that interesting, yet you listen like it’s the most important thing in the world. I know what your thinking.. “yeah yeah, people say this type of thing all the time, and then next week they’re talking about someone else who’s `amazing` and `fantastic`” but I do not lie - he really is amazing and fantastic. I would actually really just like to thank him for making the past few weeks the most amazing weeks of my life, never have I had so much fun, and had so much to look forward to in such a short space of time, and even though its all over, those memories will never leave me, even when I’m old and wrinkly, I’ll always remember that gorgeous boy who came into my life and made it sparkle. And I know I have no right to say this to him anymore - but I don’t think he’ll read it anyway. I truly do love you, I miss you, and I hate the thought of never getting to kiss you, hug you, or just be with you ever again. My life basically revolves around you now, and no matter how pathetic I seem by saying this, I’m still saying it, which must count for something? And I wish I could show you this, just to prove to you how much I love you, but I know that you blame yourself for how things turned out, so the last thing I want is to make you feel worse. I know you just want me to be happy, but the truth is, I’m happiest with you, and no matter how many times you tell me I’m going to meet someone great and forget all about you, I think that you and I both know that’s not true. But like I said, even if it does come true (which is most certainly will not!) I wouldn’t do anything about it, because no matter how `great` they may be, they’re nothing compared to you.

I love you. I miss you. I hope one day soon, when the time is right, we can be together again. And I really can’t wait.